Friday, January 11, 2008

Proofreader Needed

E-mail forwarded to me regarding a piece I put together for work....this was the fourth unique request for corrections of the piece this week, and by far the most eloquent.

Dear Messrs. F-- and E--,

In appreciation of and in receipt of the same new C-- form, I humbly refer you to page 2 which provides the instructions for completing the kit. In spite of an overriding willingness to comply with your instructions, I find it difficult to fulfill your fourth, fifth and sixth enumerated request. Each enumerated request refers to pages numbered 10, 11, 12 and 13.

Since the case implementation kit has only (9) yup, count em, nine pages,and pages 10, 11, 12, and 13 are absent, would you please consider this notice as satisfaction of all my present and future administrative requirements in this regard.

Thanking you in advance for your simplification of my responsibilities,

I remain,


  1. meaning H can't finish the request b/c the required pages are not present?

    hmmmm, interesting email

  2. No, not because they weren't there, just that the instructions said to go to the wrong page. It started as a 14-page document or so, and I took out 4 pages, but didn't realize the instructions referenced page numbers, so I didn't change them.

    The good thing is that is says, "See Form B (page 12)" and someone can find that form in the Table of Contents and realize it's on page 8. So at least the instructions gives the name of the form as well.

    And NOW it has the right page number! :)

  3. Interesting way to say, "Don't see last four pages, please advise."

    Ha! Always interesting!

  4. What the heck does all that mean? Cuh-razie!

  5. Cuh-razie alright! You shouldn't speak tongues at work like this. I need an interpreter! Duh-what?

  6. Are they trying to be smart? Why not just say "fix the page numbers"? Wow, I had to read that really slowly to figure out what he was saying! :)

  7. I especially love the last line, "Thank you in advance for your simplification of my responsibilities."

    Yeah, who knows what that really means.

    I would sometimes get "thank you in advance for your help/cooperation/compliance." It seems like quite an assumption on their part that I would actually comply!